What REALLY happened

Jokes aside– It is difficult not to feel like you are the center of the universe. I think my thoughts and feel my feelings all day everyday. No matter how many times I empathize with others the chapters in their Book of Life seem to go on reading blank unless I am with them–whereas since mine is open all the time it feels like it is the only one. (I have never been very good at reading more than one book at a time).

Anyway… So Chad and I hear a BOOM CRASH WAIL in the middle of the night. Chad bolts up and grabs Alden. Just looking at Chad’s face I knew he was asleep. He was seeing a completely different scene all around us than I was. The terror he saw was written all over his face. I NEVER want to see him like that again.

I grabbed a crying Eden off of the floor where she had fallen out of bed (the BOOM CRASH WAIL). Chad was still trying to will Alden back to life. Was Alden crying? I don’t remember. But Chad’s face had fallen. The light in his eyes, the strength and confidence in his figure–really everything everyone sees in Chad–was far away.

I have often felt overwhelmed by what would happen to my life–to me–if anything happened to one of the kids or Chad. I have wondered if losing me would put much of a dent at all in Chad’s life. He is so self-assured. I will never wonder again. And he needed me. I was the one who could talk him down and give him the support he needed. Sometimes I feel like Chad does all the giving and I do all the taking. As much as I am haunted by his fragile image holding Alden in the night, I am comforted to know that he needs me and I am what he needs.

Posted by on September 28th, 2011

4,631 Comments »

1

May 11, 2018 @ 2:53 am

Muy buena idea de darnos a conocer lugares de nuestro lindo pais , yo no sabia de este lugar llamado “chiflon del Diablo”, esto nos hace un poco màs cultos y conocedores de nuestro paìs

2

May 11, 2018 @ 3:59 am

Che bello!!!Foto foto e mi unisco a chi chiede un video!E… Vabbè, dai, quando vinco la lotteria (bada bene: "quando", non "se"), te ne regalo una 🙂 Insieme ad un vassoio pieno di cornetti alla marmellata ^^

3

May 11, 2018 @ 5:09 am

Drag0ne dit :C’est vrai que c’est facile a dire de partir. Mais quand tu as des enfants,un mari et une famille que tu aime ce n’est pas si facile que ca la quitter.Je pense vraiment que la difficulté et les coutumes dépend des familles. J’ai connu une québécoise qui c’est convertie a la religion musulman pour son mari et elle vivait tres bien avec ca et d’autre qui on tout les miseres a respecter leurs traditions. tout dépend de la personne.[]

4

May 11, 2018 @ 8:12 am

you can try to buy him the patch or the gum and ask him to at least try those methods. but at the end of the day, he has to want to quit on his own.

5

May 11, 2018 @ 11:25 am

Don’t be so hard on yourself, Calpernia! I’m sure your performance that night was absolutely STUNNING! You’re always so modest about your amazing talent. I’m sure many people are jealous of your talent.Andrea is probably envious of you talent, since your talent weighs 20 pounds more than Andrea’s talent!

6

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May 11, 2018 @ 3:38 pm

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9

May 11, 2018 @ 9:41 pm

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14

May 12, 2018 @ 2:41 am

As painful as the response to that first post was, I feel it has overall been a very positive experience for me. As you say, you never know where the “valuable gains” will come along.

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18

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19

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20

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21

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