Some people may not have heard the romantic beginnings of Chad and my relationship. We both attended a silly party with the purpose of avoiding any uncomfortable encounters with the opposite sex. So of course, in our first conversation, Chad and I had a misunderstanding and I went home and cried to my mom. Our second meeting ended much like the first. I left and cried again. On our next meeting we were able to interact without catastrophe. Chad still proudly claims that it doesn’t matter whether your first impression on someone is good or bad–it just has to be a BIG.

Only a few months later Chad asked me to marry him. When we first met I would have never thought we would end up dating. When we got engaged I would have never thought that I could possibly love him more or be happier. I was wrong.

In April, Chad and I celebrated being married for two years. So it is fitting that I was asked to give a talk on Eternal Marriage, not because I have much to teach but because I have much to learn.

Today there are many definitions of marriage. In True to the Faith we learn that, “In our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness, a man and a woman can be sealed to one another for time and all eternity. Those who are sealed in the temple have the assurance that their relationship will continue forever if they are true to their covenants… Not even death, can permanently separate them.” A temple sealing or eternal marriage is a marriage performed in a temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by an ordained authority.

The First Presidency of the church has “solemnly proclaimed that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” This statement teaches us a lot about the nature of eternal marriage.

Marriage is ordained of God

First marriage is ordained of God. To be ordained of God means that marriage is a law of God. We are not just encouraged but commanded to live the covenants of eternal marriage. God’s work and glory is to help us reach exaltation. The covenant of eternal marriage is necessary for exaltation, so there is no question why it is a commandment.

The Lord taught us the importance of this commandment. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” Our spouse is the only person other than God himself who we have been commanded to love with all of our hearts. Eternal marriage is obviously of great importance to our Heavenly Father.

We have been counseled by leaders of the church to place the greatest importance on our marriage relationship. Nothing else should take priority over our spouse.

We must find someone who we can give our entire heart, our entire love, our entire allegiance, and our entire loyalty. As our most cherished earthly relationship it needs and deserves to be treated special. I am reminded of the law of consecration—where we are asked to give our whole heart, might, mind and strength to the Lord. Because eternal marriage is God’s law and of such great importance to him I think it is appropriate to assume that we must consecrate ourselves to our spouses. No less than our whole self should be expected. When we give our marriages the needed time and attention they deserve we are consciously deciding that our marriages will succeed.

There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. The blessings of eternal marriage can only be received there. That is why we must do all we can to prepare ourselves to be married in the right place, to the right person at the right time. All we do in the gospel is designed to prepare us to make and keep the covenants of eternal marriage. If we continue to live the Gospel we will be prepared to be married in the House of the Lord for eternity.

Marriage is central to God’s Plan

The second thing we learn from the Proclamation on the Family is that marriage is central to the Creator’s plan. God has made it clear what the purpose of our life on earth is. There are two distinct purposes that are inseparable from each other. According to Preach My Gospel our experiences on earth provide us opportunities to learn and to grow, to distinguish good from evil and to make choices. The first great purpose of life is to prepare to return to God’s presence.

To be in God’s presence is to receive what the scriptures call eternal life. David O McKay said that the, “Best place to prepare for eternal life is in the home.” At times I have heard people say that their spouse makes them want to be a better person. Or that they do make them a better person. I believe this is a wonderful testament to what marriage is meant to be. I certainly didn’t decide to marry Chad because the first few times we spoke I left and cried. I married Chad because I become my best self whenever I am with him. I married him because he sees in me what I can become.

Heavenly Father has given us the law of eternal marriage so we can become like Him. (Gospel Principles) According to a talk given by Elder F Burton Howard, “Eternal implies continuing growth and improvement. It means that man and wife will honestly try to perfect themselves. Eternal signifies repentance, forgiveness, long-suffering, patience, hope, charity, love, and humility. All of these things are involved in anything that is eternal, and surely we must learn and practice them if we intend to claim an eternal marriage.”

It is in our marriages that we can find the desire, the support, the means, and the opportunities to continue our journey to become like God. No relationship has more potential to exalt a man and a woman than the marriage covenant. (Boyd K. Packer)

The second purpose of our lives on earth is found in 2 Nephi 2:25, “Men are that they might have joy.” When we strive to better ourselves and help those around us to do the same we will always be filled with joy. James E Faust said, “Marriage is the way provided by God for the fulfillment of the greatest of human needs… Happiness in marriage and parenthood can exceed a thousand times any other happiness.” I thought I knew happiness before I was married, but my capacity for joy has increased.

When the scriptures teach us that, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man” (1 Cor. 11:11) it alludes to the greatness of what man and woman are together. At our wedding a friend gave a toast, “May you look back on today as the day you loved each other the least.” At the time that seemed unbelievable but our love has strengthened in just a short time and our appreciation for each other has grown. Our relationship has sweetened.

President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter.” If we can be blessed with so much joy already in our short time together I cannot begin to imagine what a great blessing the eternal covenant of marriage can become. Truly God’s plan for His children is far better than anything we can imagine or hope for.

Marriage is for our Eternal Destiny.

While we strive in our lives to learn, grow and have joy we are preparing ourselves to receive all the blessings of exaltation. This is the final thing we learn from the first presidency’s statement on marriage. The eternal destiny of the Children of God is to have eternal life with Heavenly Father. Elder Bruce R McConkie taught that, “Celestial marriage is the thing that opens the door to eternal life in our Father’s kingdom.” He also teaches that it is out of the marriage unit that “eternal life and exaltation grow.”

The nature of the eternal marriage covenant is specifically designed as the crowning ordinance of our spiritual progression. Anything we do to align ourselves with the Lord and His gospel further prepares us to make and keep covenants with him.

The marriage covenant prepares us to be exalted after our earthly lives and introduces us now to the blessings of that destiny. We can prepare to enjoy the blessings of eternal marriage no matter our circumstances–whether we are old or young, single or married, or if we have already had our spouse leave us behind. For example, obviously you need two willing and worthy people to be sealed in the temple. Sometimes there is a lot of work and time involved to find that other person, but no one is ever exempt from living in a way that will prepare them to make and keep that covenant.

I am not equipped to give marital advice or to give suggestions for the application of covenants made in the temple. But I can bear testimony of a principle that applies to everyone. The surest way of remaining faithful to our marriage covenants and or receiving blessings attributed to eternal marriage at any time in our lives is to center our lives in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Elder F Burton Howard said, “To those who keep the covenant of marriage, God promises the fullness of His glory, eternal lives, eternal increase, exaltation in the celestial kingdom, and a fullness of joy.” I know that as we center our lives in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we will be blessed with opportunities to become like our Father in Heaven, we will find greater joy and our marriages will take on the character that God intends. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.