Sometimes I feel like I am babysitting an adorable little baby girl and I wonder when the real, responsible parents who know what they are doing are going to pick her up and take her away. (But suggest to Elisa that you are going to take Eden away and watch the protective maternal instinct express itself full-force). I love Eden, and have so much fun watching her and I cannot believe she is ours. Even after months of being pregnant it still seems surreal that my life, my role, my identity have changed forever. FOREVER. That is a long time. No matter how good the day has gone with her or how much rest we are able to get through the night it is really challenging to adjust to this new existence. I am still me but I am a version of myself that has been benched for the last 25 years.

I have a difficult time taking care of everyone, including myself. I do not really know how to now. It seems the things that relaxed me before suddenly do not have the same effect. Before Eden was born my responsibilities were to better myself and to help Chad be happy and successful. I love my role as a wife! It is really the best in the world. Now I feel like I am neglecting Chad. Every time I feel overwhelmed and want to ask for his help I feel like I am not filling my role as a mom and I feel guilty for putting more responsibility on him.

On a less emotional girl note, somehow our bedroom has become a hangout for mosquitoes as the weather gets cooler. Luckily Eden and Chad have gone unscathed for the most part but I am a different story. Plus I seem to be more allergic to mosquitos than the average person. I have big welts all over my hands and arms that are lasting (and iching) for days. Stupid bugs!