I had the worst nightmare at Lake Powell. At about 1:30 am, Eden fell out of her bunk. We heard the thump and then the crying. I think that startled Alden awake, and so he was crying. I jumped out of bed. I was on my feet, but that’s when I was having the nightmare. I thought that something terrible had happened to Alden. It looked like something in his crib had fatally injured him. I pulled him out and held him. Up close, I couldn’t see anything wrong with his body, but I was still sure that there was a big problem. Elisa saw how scared I was, and she was saying, “Don’t, Don’t.” That made me more scared. I sat there holding Alden until I calmed down. My skin was stretched tight enough around my forehead that just remembering that sensation was enough to send my heart racing again a few days later.

Elisa and I moved to houseboat’s main room. Half an hour later, I tried to walk back towards the crib again, but just getting near it made all my hair stand on end. Being in the same room provoked a physical reaction that I still couldn’t control. The room was filled with a palpable personality, saying, “Here Be Nightmares.”

Elisa and I talked for a little while about how grateful we are that our kids are alive and healthy. I cried, and that doesn’t happen often. If something happened to my family, I know it would upend my world.